Who The F#%k Am I?

After some interesting (and surprising) hypothetical time-travel last week, I became very excited at the idea of starting to lift weights again. And I mean For Real lift. The way I used to that required grunting and dropping dumbbells and sometimes farting because in the moment finishing your set is more important than modesty. I have come to miss those kinds of workouts. And still I didn’t start immediately. I pondered (I’m really good at pondering). And procrastinated (pretty good at that too). I was even snowed in for three days without setting foot in my home gym. Unless you count the time I had to shop vac the water off the basement floor because our hot water heater busted 36 HOURS BEFORE A FUCKING BLIZZARD. But that’s another story for another day.

After we were finally rescued yesterday by front end loader plowing the street, For Real life became inevitable again and I marched downstairs to start my For Real workout routine. I could have created the program myself, but aside from being a little bit rusty in the workout creativity department these days, I finally wanted to just get started. I knew if I was going to write it out on my own I’d have another procrastination tool – “I haven’t finished putting everything down on paper yet, I couldn’t possibly start today, right?!”

So, I picked a program from BodyBuilding.com and downloaded it to my calendar. For those of you who aren’t aware – if you have an account with them (which is free) you can do this too. It makes it super easy to figure out what’s up for the day’s workout. Just go to a particular day on the calendar and there is a link to BB.come with that day’s workout with spaces for me to log everything if you want. They have options for all levels of exercisers and all kinds of goals, so don’t let the BODYBUILDING part scare you off if you’re looking for a place to start.

Anyway, I waited until after dinner and after a cup of coffee to get started, which provided a much better outcome than my early morning workouts. I entered my home gym and the first thing I saw this very cool valentines day gift Tyler got me a couple years back.IMG_6616(1)

Side note: I love that my V-day gift has the word Fuck in it. Acutally, now that I’m thinking about it, I suppose plenty of people receive Valentines Day gifts with that word in it, but mine uses it as an adjective (Or is it an adverb? I tried to figure it out, but even Urban Dictionary couldn’t really shed much light on the subject) instead of a verb. Whatever. It’s special. I love it. It makes me smile. Oh, and it’s motivating.

It’s been a very long time since I felt the way I felt while lifting those little bitty weights in my basement last night. I had to give myself an assist on a single arm triceps press with a five and half (yes, I said 5.5) pound plate on the pulley. Sometimes I have to laugh because showing the world “Who The Fuck I Am” does NOT include five and half pound plates. But on the flip side, pushing through something that is difficult and painful in order to better myself IS included in that. So, score one for me (and one for the pulley, I guess) last night.

I’m writing this post this morning because less than twelve hours later my arms are already aching. As a person who’s soreness peaks at around thirty-six hours, this is never a good sign for the amount of pain to come. I have a feeling the little guys will be rendered useless by the time I get home from work today.

I definitely have a long way to go, but the journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step and all that crap. So here’s to five and half pound plates, going to the gym in slippers, using the computer to program my workouts, and some soon-to-be-useless-but-budding biceps.

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